Seeking Sensibly

Wisdom says..

After having been married over 14 years I have learned a lot about relationships, especially mine. Many men and women have asked me questions about finding a potential mate and/or having a good relationship. While I am by no means an expert, here are a few principles that may prove helpful in determining how to find "the one":

Spend some time working on yourself first.
You can only expect to receive that which you, yourself are offering. Also, when you are at your best, you  make better choices and are less tolerant of foolishness.

MEN do the chasing!
Women I know this is hard because there is a shortage of men, or because "he is so fine" or "he's got it going on" or some other reason. It just doesn't work the other way around. Now, I am not suggesting a woman can't say hello to a man first, but when it comes down to it, the man has to be the aggressor. This gives the woman security that the man is actually interested in her and not just responding to her advances. In other words,women...if you say hello and he says "hi"and keeps it moving, you keep it moving too. Men, don't let "shyness" cause you to miss an opportunity.

Do a cost/benefits analysis.
Ask yourself: Is the cost of being in this relationship more than the benefits? Some of us are very savvy with our finances and other areas of our lives,but fail in relationships because we don't apply the same principles. Would you keep an animal that won't stop peeing on your floor or that tears up your furniture? So...find out what you can live with and without. Consider...you wouldn't buy a car that has no steering wheel.

Use your head
Emotions are good. But, we have to exercise our intellect too. Your feelings will betray you every time but your mind will keep you grounded. I may "feel" like doing 90 in a 45 mile zone, but my mind tells me I'm gonna get a ticket!

Be compatible.
It has been said that opposites attract. I say, a vegetarian and a carnivore will repel each other.  However, a person that cooks meat well is a good match for one that cooks vegetables well.  See the difference?  Opposites contradict, not complement.  Complementing one another allows for a mutually beneficial partnership.

Q: What is one thing you cannot live with or without in a relationship?
Q: If you are already happily married...what other principles (not listed above ) did YOU use in finding "the one"?