Celebrate!

Wisdom says...

We are all unique.  That is cause to celebrate!

It is not easy to understand or respect the differences in others.  Quiet people often get annoyed with loud and boisterous people, and very neat people are generally challenged by messy people.  We sometimes see individuals that are different from us as being flawed.  The truth is that they may think the same about us.

I remember hearing that "we learn more from people that we different from than those with whom we have similarities". I think that in addition to that, we are complemented by people that we share differences with.  If I am a little messy, maybe my clean friend can help me out.  Likewise my messiness, may help my very neat friend relax a little. Here are a few more examples.

spontaneity vs. rigidity
fearfulness vs. courageousness
introverted vs. extroverted


Story: I stated a few posts ago that I was a very wounded person years ago.  I also was deeply into "church".  I remember that the people I went to church with thought I was flaky because I talked all the time. I remember a pastor's wife once went so far as to pray (yes...she laid hands and everything) that GOD would "shut my mouth". In reality, I had something substantial to say, but it often was overshadowed by the foolishness I had learned to speak.  In any rate, GOD did NOT shut my mouth then, nor has he ever.  It took some time, though to feel comfortable speaking to people because I was always being squelched.
I have learned to celebrate my uniqueness and now believe that my mouth and vocal cords are a blessing and can speak life into others.

Q: Have others failed to see the value of your unique personality, dress, ideals, etc...? Have you felt hindered because you were misunderstood, unappreciated, or shunned by people that were different than you?

or...

Has this not been an issue for you?  In what way do YOU celebrate the unique differences both yourself and others?  How can you help others do the same?



Prayer: Help us see and celebrate the differences and unique qualities in ourselves and others. 

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

Wisdom says...

What you think is what you eventually become! 

I had begun discussing the issue of purpose a little while back.  It may seem cut and dry to just identify our purpose and begin to walk in it, but there are some elements that we must consider.  In order to identify and walk in our purpose, we have to have the right mindset.

Recently I have been listening to a series of sermons, by Bishop David G. Evans, entitled "Conversations".  He talks about both external conversations (the ones we have with others) and internal conversations (those we have with ourselves or, our thoughts).

While it is not my desire to regurgitate, Bishop Evans' ideas, I want to invite you to consider one thing he said in particular: "Every season in our lives begins with a conversation". 

Conversations usually begin with a thought.  How we think defines how we act.  Have you ever been in a situation and wondered, "how in the world did I get here".  It all began with a thought. For example, I have always believed that if I wanted a particular job, I could get it and that I didn't have to go on twenty interview to get ONE job.  Because I believed that way, I "received" that way.  Likewise, in some of my past relationships, I have expected to be rejected or misunderstood.  Again, because I believed that way...

We have to be mindful that our:

• thoughts = words
• words = actions
• actions = habits
• habits = character
• character = destiny

If our thoughts stink, eventually our character stinks.  If we allow ourselves to indulge in negative thoughts we will become negative people, who will be identified or remembered as such.

*** Let's think on purpose! Instead of allowing thoughts to arbitrarily flow in and out of our minds, let us think on the things that will position us and take us where we need to be. 

"You can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you CAN stop it from building a nest in your hair"...Martin Luther

NO DISCOUNT ON DIAMONDS

Wisdom says...

Don't ever discount another person because of where they are in life.  We do this when we shrug off the feelings, ideas, or plight of others or when we don't take time for those we feel we are better than.  According to the dictionary, to discount is to value less or hold in low esteem or regard.


I experienced a lot of turmoil in my early twenties and things looked really bleak for a time.  Not only did I feel like I would never come out on top, but I knew others felt the same way (some have enough gull to speak it).  Seeing the extent of my condition, a lady (who I  will call, D.J.)prayed for me and said the most simple, yet powerful thing she could have said.  During her prayer,she quoted a scripture "don't judge anything before it's time" (1st Cor 4:5, paraphrased).  That was over 15 years ago, but I still remember that simple prayer, because it taught me the value of not pre-judging.


As far as my own life goes, I have been counted out more times that I can remember.  But those that have counted me out, now have to eat their words and take notice of  the things that GOD has done in me. We all have probably done this at one time or another.  If not, (and that is a big "if") we have seen some talk show, or heard some story about someone who ignored someone in school or from the neighbor only to see them all grown up and doing well for themselves.  Only, the new and improved, person won't give them the time of day.

Diamonds don't look beautiful at first either.  They usually come from dirt, but after they are cleaned, process, and cut, become the most beautiful and sought after gems.

Be careful about discounting other people because of where they are today.  The guy in the mail room may soon make CEO and hold YOUR job in his hand.  That stinking, homeless person you are nasty to today, may be the one approving your loan application tomorrow.  The person you call stupid now may become an intellectual giant that you wish would give you a moment of their time. In essence, the person you discount today, may be the key to your tomorrow.

P.S... The word DIAMOND actually means INVINCIBLE.

The Four P's

Wisdom says...

We are all here for a Purpose. We need only find out what that purpose is.  This is no easy task (at least for me it wasn't).  Sometimes we have to try a few things, before actually finding our Life's Purpose.

I've dabbled in a lot of things before I finally realized my purpose. Long ago, I remember wanting to be a singer.  I knew the words to every song on the radio and could mimic the sounds of Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Miki Howard, Cheryl Pepsi Riley and other female singers of the 80's. I entered a few talent shows, sang on the school choir, and enjoyed singing with my friends.    But, by 11th grade I ended up getting booed at the school talent show (there was a problem with the microphone, I tell you!).  Thank GOD I was dating the "sandman" and had clout in the audience or it would have been even worse.  Needless to say, I did not get a recording contract.  What's a girl to do?

I didn't stop there. I have tried a whole lot of other things over the years.  It was not until I was in my mid-twenties that I understood that I had purpose.  Most of my life was spent just trying to "survive" that "living on purpose" was a foreign concept to me.  Once I grasped it, however it was on! I realized that I had a unique "gift" and had a defining moment where I realized that PURPOSE is what we are passionate about, but are willing to do without recognition or other compensation, and gives us great pleasure.  To put it in mathematical terms:

PASSION - PAYMENT = PURPOSE + PLEASURE

I began spending more time listening to, encouraging, and motivating others than  anything else.  In fact, at my last job, I thought for sure I would get fired because my job responsibilities eventually took a back seat to my "passion". 

None of us are here by mistake.  As we move closure to purpose, we will have great pleasure.  And while we will not seek payment, it will be a byproduct of pursuing our passion.

Q: Have you found your life's purpose?  If yes, how did you get there?  If no, what steps do you need to take in order to discover it?

Seeking Sensibly

Wisdom says..

After having been married over 14 years I have learned a lot about relationships, especially mine. Many men and women have asked me questions about finding a potential mate and/or having a good relationship. While I am by no means an expert, here are a few principles that may prove helpful in determining how to find "the one":

Spend some time working on yourself first.
You can only expect to receive that which you, yourself are offering. Also, when you are at your best, you  make better choices and are less tolerant of foolishness.

MEN do the chasing!
Women I know this is hard because there is a shortage of men, or because "he is so fine" or "he's got it going on" or some other reason. It just doesn't work the other way around. Now, I am not suggesting a woman can't say hello to a man first, but when it comes down to it, the man has to be the aggressor. This gives the woman security that the man is actually interested in her and not just responding to her advances. In other words,women...if you say hello and he says "hi"and keeps it moving, you keep it moving too. Men, don't let "shyness" cause you to miss an opportunity.

Do a cost/benefits analysis.
Ask yourself: Is the cost of being in this relationship more than the benefits? Some of us are very savvy with our finances and other areas of our lives,but fail in relationships because we don't apply the same principles. Would you keep an animal that won't stop peeing on your floor or that tears up your furniture? So...find out what you can live with and without. Consider...you wouldn't buy a car that has no steering wheel.

Use your head
Emotions are good. But, we have to exercise our intellect too. Your feelings will betray you every time but your mind will keep you grounded. I may "feel" like doing 90 in a 45 mile zone, but my mind tells me I'm gonna get a ticket!

Be compatible.
It has been said that opposites attract. I say, a vegetarian and a carnivore will repel each other.  However, a person that cooks meat well is a good match for one that cooks vegetables well.  See the difference?  Opposites contradict, not complement.  Complementing one another allows for a mutually beneficial partnership.

Q: What is one thing you cannot live with or without in a relationship?
Q: If you are already happily married...what other principles (not listed above ) did YOU use in finding "the one"?

On Personal Growth:

Wisdom says...

Growth is not automatic.  It requires participation on our part.  We all have areas of our lives in which we could stand to improve, but it takes work.  Often we look at ourselves over time, see the growth, and wonder how it happened.  It was something WE did.  Growth can be positive or negative, but where the focus goes, the power flows.

Positive focus=positive growth

Those in my family as well as those that knew me when I was young, can see that I have grown (wider) over the years.  This did not just happen!  It took consistent action on my part. Every bite, every calorie, every delicious morsel contributed to my current state.  Likewise I have grown intellectually.  This resulted from reading, taking classes, and listening to intellectually stimulating information.

When we desire to grow intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, etc... we have to realize that every step we take in that direction will contribute to our growth.  One day, we will wake up, take inventory and look at the marvelous growth we have made. 

Q: In what ways do YOU need to grow and what are some steps toward that growth?

HELP!! MY GLASSES ARE DIRTY!

Wisdom says...

Have you ever looked out of dirty glasses or a dirty window? Things don't look quite right, do they?

We all see life through a particular lens.  "What" or "How" we see is determined by our beliefs.  I have heard it said that our belief system, is made up of 3 things:

• repetitious information
• credible people
• life experiences

Some of us have received lousy information, had negative experiences, or come to the realization that the credible people in our life hoodwinked us.  This is problematic because it skews our belief system, hence,  how we look at the world.  In other words, it dirties our glasses.  When we see the world through "dirty glasses" (skewed perceptions) our lives will be negatively impacted. We will see the results reflected in our speech, relationships, and ultimately our success (or lack thereof).

Story:
After years of being in emotional turmoil, I realized that due to being hurt as a child, I was viewing the world as a victim.  Every time someone said or did something to me, I would refer to my emotional scars and say, "see that's why I can't trust/get close to people" or "why does this always have to happen?" etc...   I would even make promises to myself about what I would never do again and how I was going to respond next time etc...
It dawned on me that I was viewing things through the lens of hurt, which was like a slow-acting poison in my relationships.  Even when others had the best intentions, I failed to receive because my proverbial "glasses" were dirty. It was not until I recognized the extent of my condition that I opted for a new pair of glasses, given to me by GOD to see him, myself, and others.

Perhaps you too have been disappointed, misunderstood, or maybe even misused/abused...Perhaps you have been plagued by mistrust, inferiority, or failure.  Perhaps you have even given up on some dream or desire because you have failed in the past.  I CHALLENGE YOU to examine what you see, and clean your glasses. ***If you are like me, you may need to get a new pair!

Prayer: Lord...our glasses are dirty. Give us new experiences, credible people, and information to help us  see you, ourselves, and others clearly.

Video: What's right with the world!

WHEN "HELP" HURTS.

Wisdom says...

We were created with a desire to "help" others.  Unfortunately, some of the things that we do to help, actually "hurt".  So we can say that there is a help that "helps" and a help that "hurts". Real help, should empower individuals to do the seeking, acting, and exercising the discipline necessary to solve their own problems, not provide solutions for them.  It should be an assisting partnership that enables the individuals to actively participate in their own growth.  This is the kind of help that will last, and overall affect lasting change in the lives of people. 

Story:
 I was working with a young lady who was not receptive to all of the help I was offering.  While meeting with her one day, I realized that she would only understand what help looks like when I demonstrated for her.  Since "demonstrative" could have been my middle name, I fell (yes fell) on the floor.  There were two others in the room and all three of them looked at me like like I was crazy.  Ironically, she was the first one to try to "help" me off the floor, but I intentionally became "dead weight".  The Harder she tried to lift me, the more I resisted.  She actually was going to leave and try to get someone bigger and stronger to help (there's that word again) her.  I stopped her there, because I knew I proved my point.  I asked her, "why couldn't you pull me up?" and she replied "because you weren't cooperating".  I said "exactly"...you will never be able to truly help someone if they refuse to participate in their own rescue. Otherwise they become "dead weight" which exhausts us to the point of burnout.

Prayer: Lord, lead us to help those who are truly prepared to receive it.

Who are you pleasing?

Wisdom says...

Concerning People Pleasing

I have found that the older I get, the less likely I am to please people.  Not because I don't care about their feelings, but because I realize my inablility to do so. First, we have all heard the cliche "you can't please everybody".  The truth is that we really won't be able to please anyone because others will almost always want something more or different than we are offering.  The more you try, the harder it becomes.  We weren't designed to please one another, but rather to please GOD in hopes that he will lead us to behaviors and actions that others will find pleasing.

Welcome

Wisdom says...

I would like to welcome you all to my page.  This is my very first post.  As I grow, I endeavor to pass on my knowledge and experiences to others.  This is based on the principle of sowing and reaping.  As I sow wisdom into others, it is my expectation that I will reap more wisdom from GOD.  Thank you for allowing me to share, and may GOD allow us to grow in life, love, and learning together.