HOW TO MAKE A COMEBACK

Hello Readers!  This is my first post of 2012 and I know many of you have long awaited Wisdomnotes' return.  Some of you have even personally asked for and/or threatened me to put a new post up.  Since Wisdomnotes is making a comeback, I thought it only appropriate to make that today's topic.  As always, please share your thoughts with me.  I welcome your feedback. Now, onto it!

Wisdom says...


Making a comeback is easier than you think.  It takes work, but once you get started, you will be on a roll.

Trials, or life's storms, are a part of life and we have to accept and embrace them as such.  One popular cliche is, "what doesn't kills us, only makes us stronger".  The thing is, hardship doesn't actually kill "us" but it kills our dreams and determination.  It causes us to lose both our focus and our fervency.  What will will do?

In the above movie (which I am sure you have already seen), Daniel had been harassed perpetually by an unsavory group of his peers for a long time. Finally, Daniel's mentor (Mr. Miyagi) sets up a platform for Daniel to meet his opponents on equal footing.  In this final scene, Daniel has been injured badly, but he had to make a decision.  He can either stay down and lose, or get up and make a comeback.

We too, have to make that choice.

When circumstances come and knock us down, we have to be determined to get back up again.  We may feel incapacitated and as if we cannot go on.  If we get back up, we will received the trophies of success, optimum physical and mental health, fruitful relationships, and the restoration of vision (for our lives).

Q: What do/did you have to come back from?  Death of a loved one, a divorce, loss of job or a home, financial ruin, depression, emotional wounds, broken relationships?  What will it take to make your comeback?

Essential steps in the process of making a comeback:

• Grief- Allow yourself time to grieve over your loss and don't deny the feelings you are (or have been) experiencing. Then allow yourself to heal from the hurt caused by it.  
• Acceptance- Accept the hardship as a part of life.  Without it, there would be nothing to measure the good times by.   
• Identification- Spend some time reflecting to identify anything you could have done differently.  While some things are completely beyond our control (death, for example), others we can control (our response it, for example).
• Visualization- Get a mental picture of what the end product/result looks like.
• Planning- Write down your comeback plan and consider the pros and cons.  Look at what (if anything) you can implement to prevent or minimize another disaster.  For example, for an unforeseen hardship, you may choose to obtain counseling instead of isolating.
• Support- We cannot do anything in life without the help of others.  Identify who can best help you on your journey and connect with them.  Make sure the individual (s) can and will support you during the hard times.

These steps are by no means all-inclusive.  One may have to explore many things before successfully making a comeback.  One thing I did not mention is "the GOD factor".  While GOD has been at the very center of my own comebacks, I realize that not everyone is in the same place.  

Reflection questions: 

• Is there any area of your life that you feel you need a comeback?
• What kind of hardship have you had to overcome?  Do you have any feedback for others in the same predicament?
• Are there other steps (other than those listed above) that you have successfully employed while making YOUR comeback?

Prayer: Father, help us to get back up again when life knocks us down.  Help us to also acknowledge you within the process of making a comeback, understanding that YOUR burden is easy, and YOUR burden is light.  Give us both a vision and strategy to live successfully.

TO TELL THE TRUTH...

Wisdom says...


We must be honest with others, but not for the purpose of hurting them. 

One thing my family (husband and 2 children) is known for is our "brutal" honesty.  Really, it is not "brutal" at all because we love each other and want the best for each other.  If I have to tell one of my children that they don't smell so hot, it is not to embarrass them, but so that they can present their best selves to the world. We have to be honest with people, yes, but it has to be for the ultimate goal of helping them to be better.

This is problematic for people for several reasons.

• They don't understand or appreciate the value of truth. 

Being honest is very liberating.  I appreciate people that can handle and give the truth. I value more the friends that are willing to say things that make me (temporarily) uncomfortable. Conversely, it is difficult to maintain friendships with people with people that are not open and honest because I don't feel safe with them. It seems like something is always simmering beneath the surface.  They feel a certain way, but don't express it and find that I am often at a loss about their true feelings. 

• They are afraid of backlash or other repercussions.

I understand the difficulty with this, because it is a fear is learned through life's experiences.  I was taught as a child that honesty is NOT the best policy and began to tell lies so that neither I nor anyone else would be hurt.  If we fear telling the truth because of what will happen to us or others, we hinder our ability to have fruitful relationships. 

•  They don't have the right motives or reasoning for truthfulness.

As with other behaviors, brutality is also learned.  Some people say anything to people any kind of way and don't care how it makes them feel.  We have to come to the realization that when we truly care for, and love others, we want them to be better and are willing to risk "truth" to do that .  Truth spoken out of malice, animosity, hurt, pride, or ignorance, will not affect any positive change.



The above reasons are not all-inclusive.  There are many reasons that people are not honest.  Until we are honest with ourselves, we cannot be truthful with others.  We have to decide that it is essential to the success of our relationships with GOD, ourselves, and others that we be gut level honest, but only as it pertains to growth.  If we we begin with the motive that we want to be our best, and want the same for others, the "truth" will work for us and serve as a conduit to developing (and maintaining) awesome relationships.

 EXAMPLE: My success in "Corporate America" for 10 years can be attributed to my candor.  People did not always like me, or what I had to say, but they did "respect" me, which I found far more valuable. 

One day, while working as an Appeals Specialist for a Healthcare company I was asked, by an executive, to send a bunch of medical records to an insurance company so that we could "make a statement".  I could have "blindly" followed his instructions, but instead researched the accounts and realized that it would be hideous for us to do what he was planning.  Fear aside, I went back to him and gave him the reasons why we should not do this and the impact on our reputation.  I had an alternative plan that was just as effective and, after hearing it, he told me to implement it.  This is only one example.  After learning the value of honest, I have been honest with people, regardless of title or position.  As a result, I have respected throughout my career, and  and have been included in decision-making when others were not. 

What is holding you back from being 100% honest with people?  Do you have fears/inhibitions around this?  Do you believe people are not honest with you?...Why?

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXoNE14U_zM (click for video)

AN EXORTATION FOR BELIEVERS

 

Wisdom says...

What image are you projecting to the world?

The bible calls us "living epistles" or "living letters" (of recommendation) that can be read by all men (2nd Cor 3:2). Paul was telling the Corinthian church that the apostles needed no letters of recommendation because the good works could be seen in their (Corinthians)
 lives.

 The question is...does GOD need a letter of recommendation or do OUR lives speak for him? 

As Christians, we are under a great deal of scrutiny.  We get judged quite critically by the world.  I have heard it said more times than I can count, "I thought _________ is supposed to be a christian".  I used to get upset and wonder how people with no more GOD than "the man on the moon" could stand and cast judgement on me when I am "trying" to live right. 

Well...

Story
I love to dance.  I used to put on my Jordache jeans and dance to the commercial with my (half) sister when we were kids ("you got the look, I want to know better"...).  I am sure someone actually dated themselves right there, LOL.  Whatever had to do with dance, I was in it (performing arts school, cheerleading, talent shows, drill teams, and the list goes on).  Even the (few) parties I attended, I never got off the dance floor.  As an adult and a believer that didn't stop.  At one point, I was on the Praise dance team at church and I even started to line dance a few years ago.  I love to dance!!  While dancing is not overtly "sinful" I now see that even that can be a stumbling block.  

So...I am at this picnic and they play one of my favorite line dance songs. I go over and start dancing (with my "saved" self). Although I was not trying to be seen by anyone or trying to be seductive, but what happened after I stopped dancing gave me pause...and the subject matter for today's blog.  An older man ( I will not call him a gentleman) came over while I was talking to a group of women I had not seen in a long time and began to comment on my dancing.  I will not repeat what he said, but let's say...it was far from appropriate.  Of course he was out of line, but instead of looking at him, I had to check myself.

The apostle Paul said, "Everything is permissible for me, but everything is not helpful" (1st Cor 6:12 ISV).  Even though "dancing" in and of itself, is not sinful, it was an indictment on my character.  You tell me, could I have told him about the goodness of Jesus at that point?  I wondered what would happen if he repeated some of those things to other people, or how the women I was talking to felt.  Could I have even witnessed to "them"? 

The scripture that GOD put in my spirit is "My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me" (Gal 2:20 NLT).  I realized that all of the things I love to do must come under subjection to GOD because I would not want my "good to be evil spoken of" (Rom 14:16). 

I am finally resolved that my life no longer belongs to me.  I have to give over my dreams and desires to him.  For a time I had only submitted parts of myself to him.  Now I see the value in total submission.

What about you?  I know I am not the only one that has struggled with something like this.  Ask yourself: is there anything that "I" am okay with doing that GOD's stamp of approval is not on?  Does my life recommend GOD to others or does it turn others from him?  Do I care more about my "stuff" than I do about building GOD's kingdom?  In short... am I totally submitted? 

The bible says that we should not do anything that would cause another believer to stumble (Rom 14:21.  How much more for the unsaved? 

Prayer Father, give us eyes to see and ears to hear your spirit speaking to us.  Deliver us from every sin and weight that so easily besets us.  Let the words of our mouth and the meditation of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord.  Father, put a yes in our spirits that will enable us to experience you fully.  Your words says that you will perfect that which concerns us and that you chasten those whom you love.  We open ourselves to your perfecting grace and your correction...In Jesus name, Amen.